In honor of Valentine’s day here is a post about the moment I felt a mother’s love for Gemma ❤
I looked at Gemma, swaddled in her UCSF blanket peacefully sleeping in the hospital bassinet. Everyone had left for the day; Colin and I agreed he should go home. Between Gemma waking up to eat and the nurses doing a million checks the hospital is a hard place to sleep! So there we were, just me and Gemma. It was our second night in the hospital.
I leaned over, smiled and lifted her into my arms. A side braid wrapped over my shoulder and my double hospital gown hit mid calf. My toes, warm and cozy in hospital socks, stuck to the linoleum as I stepped around the room. “You’re my baby.” I whispered to her. “You’re my daughter, and I’m your mom.” I spoke to her through a natural smile. I could feel her warmth. My eyes watered slightly as love poured over me. I whispered it again, “You’re my baby,” and kissed her perfect cheek. I sat up in bed with Gemma facing me.I stared at her tiny nose, mesmerized by her mini features. It felt like we were in our own little cocoon. We’d been together for 40 weeks, and this was another stage of our metamorphosis into mother and daughter.
For the day-and-a-half before that moment endorphins and oxytocin were coursing though my body like electricity. I knew I loved Gemma, but calling her my daughter and being alone opened my heart to a new kind of bond. That’s when I felt like Gemma’s mom. I am so grateful for the opportunity to raise this baby and feel this kind of love. I am so blessed.